Birthdays can be the happiest days of our lives.
But they can also be some of the saddest days..
I tend to get especially emotional and sensitive during my birthday, because I miss spending my birthday in the company of friends and family in Singapore, and a tinge of homesickness usually starts creeping in.
And, because I’ve always paid special attention to the importance of birthdays, I always make an attempt to call my good friends and loved ones when it’s their special day, to let them know they are loved and thought of and remembered, even though I may be half the world away. Especially because I do that, I tend to hope for the same on my birthday, and that’s when disappointment sets in – when you realize that maybe for them, cards and phone calls have been easily replaced by a text message on the phone or Facebook. And that, perhaps, it’s really just the act of wishing you a happy birthday that matters to some of them, even though a call with a real life familiar voice at the other end of the line would mean the world to me.
I think this has always been one of the hardest things to adjust to, since I’ve uprooted myself from home in Singapore, and chose to live in a completely different time zone and continent from friends and family in Singapore. I’m definitely thankful for the advancement in technology that has given us the gift of easy communication through Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp and the likes (what would I do without them?).
However I haven’t forgotten the beauty of voice communication, where you get to hear the tone and intonations of the voice of the person you’re speaking to, and where in an instant you feel warmth and love despite the millions of physical miles in between.
Living in Argentina has perhaps also played a huge part in making me crave more human interaction.
It is being here – where the people treasure and prioritize having coffee with friends over long conversations, where hugs and kisses form a very natural part of everyday life, and where eye contact, gestures and calls are very much the foundation of any relationship – which has filled a longing for more human contact, a longing whose void was perhaps not so filled back home.
Perhaps it is me who has not moved on with the times, in which emotional contact through calls has been easily substituted with a Facebook wall post or a free Whatsapp message. But sometimes I still think…that maybe even an email would be better than just a short message written without much thought?
But I refuse to wallow in self-pity or sadness, when I am indeed blessed.
Blessed to have friends and people who welcome me into their family here in Buenos Aires, blessed to be surrounded by the many who greeted, called, hugged and embraced me on my special day, a day which was filled with love and joy.
I choose to count my blessings and thank God for these beautiful friendships which have arisen during the past years, and for those who I still hold dear in Singapore.
And like I said, birthdays can also be the happiest days of our lives.
Through the act of gathering and celebrating another year, the act of eating together and spending these few precious moments in the company of amazing people whom I love, cherish and admire, I look around and thank God for the love I am showered with.
This week has been less cooking and more eating out, and I’m toasting to some very special people in my life!
To Juan, who has always been here for me, TE AMO!
To Shawn, for being the very best cousin ever, and staying close despite the distance, for always remembering to call and send cards, and for your warmth and love! Thank you!
To my beautiful friend Suzy! Because every time we talk on the phone I feel like we’ve picked up exactly where we left off, and hope you know I love you!
To Luisa and Mercedes … thank you for spending my birthday with me, and for your friendship and love. LAS QUIERO!!
And to Belen and Agustina, whose companionship here in Argentina is so invaluable. LAS QUIERO MONTON!!
Raymond says
Hi Felicia,
Happy birthday (Sorry, 8 years late).
I like your writing and can feel how you felt.
I left Singapore about 30 years ago, live in the US and hardly visit Singapore.
I especially love your story – moving to BA for love.
I had been to BA once, a few years ago and like the place very much.
It’s great to know you via your blog.
Raymond
Felicia Lim says
Hi Raymond!
Nice to meet a fellow Singaporean living overseas too and thanks for dropping by!
Glad you enjoyed BA during your trip here 🙂
Which part of the US are you living in? Do you miss SG after being away for so long?
Raymond says
Hi Felicia,
I am living in Dallas, Texas.
In the past, I only miss Singapore occasionally. But in recent years, missing Singapore has become more frequently and intense. Maybe it’s about time for me to leave the US, just like the saying – “Fallen leaves return to their roots”.
Just to let you know, your photography skill and style are superb. I can feel the story the photographs were trying to project. I am not artistic at all. I am a programmer so even if I have gone through the resources that you recommended in the photography post, I believe the best I can do is only able to shoot a basic good photo. But it really takes someone who is talented to compose the right photograph to bring out the soul of the subject and object in the photographs, and that, is what differentiate a great photographer from the ordinary one.
Well done, Felicia.
Raymond
Felicia Lim says
Hey Raymond,
I understand what you mean about missing home, especially during these weird times when air travel is not as easy as before. Maybe you could return to SG one day, if that’s what you feel is needed now.
Thank you so much for your kind words about my photography – I’ve worked hard on improving it over the years, so I appreciate what you said! However, I believe that anyone can learn to shoot and style well (if you don’t believe me, check out my recipe posts from May 2012 and you’ll understand what I mean). If I can do it, so you can you (haha that was a line from Ian can cook that I used to watch a long time ago). But I mean it – life is all about progress bit by bit. 1% to infinity.
Take care!
Jess Gonzalez | Feast With Me says
I know what you mean, Felicia. I always wondered, when I saw those couple dozen facebook posts that say “Happy Birthday” from people I have not heard from in ages, did it really mean much for them to write that on my wall? Probably not, because if it did they might have called me to say it or at least texted me something with a little more depth. But it is always important to remember that you are loved, no matter how far you are from those who love you. My parents are down in Florida, and it’s been a tough few years adjusting to the distance since I stayed in NJ. But, I get a phone call (or two) every day just to say hello, and I know that love knows no bounds. 🙂
Glad you had a lovely birthday, you deserve it <3
rosewithoutthorns says
Hey Jess,
thanks for understanding..! it’s tough sometimes, but I know that I should count the blessings I have instead of thinking about the friendships that have faded as a result of distance. I’m glad to know you understand what I’m going through! It helps to know someone else has been through the same and has made it out to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Yes I had a great birthday, and I’m thankful that love knows no bounds!
hope you had a lovely weekend dear!
xoxo
charmedbylove says
I miss the times people call you and ask you out for a cuppa as well! There’s this sense of joy that no text message can beat =)
rosewithoutthorns says
exactly! now everyone’s always texting and using facebook, even when they are all seated for dinner together!!
Irene says
Happiii happiiii Birthday , Felicia! You look beautiful in your new age! Best wishes to a new year full of wonderful surprises and delicious eats 🙂
rosewithoutthorns says
Thank you for your lovely wishes Irene! Yes, definitely looking forward to a new year of amazing surprises, and delicious foods! Hope you’ve been well!